Moving on and moving away...

After telling everyone that the odds were that my second school placement would be closer than my first, they've found me somewhere further away. Great. Chipping Norton here I come...

Losing the eye-wear

Well, despite having a reputation of being squeamish when it comes to anything eye related, yesterday I put in contact lenses myself for the very first time. I have to say, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be, although despite having put them in and taken them out several times, I still feel that each time I succeed, it's a fluke. Long may my luck continue...

It's quite a bizarre feeling to walk out without my glasses on, and I still have to check myself when I leave my room. It's also quite a different visual sensation. I was warned that my vision wouldn't be as good as it was with my glasses, as I have a slight astigmatism which can't be corrected with my lenses, so the short-sightedness has been corrected but things are still a little blurry, which is odd. But so far, I'm quite enjoying the time I'm spend my time looking at the world without a frame, and I'm sure I'll get used to the difference.

A break from being bogged down in admin...

The posting rate has went down in the last couple of days. This might be because I'm actually working rather than pretending to do so...

8 days to go. I've far too much to do in those 8 days, but still, 8 days...

Oh and by the way, I've passed the professional side of my Assessment Reference Point. Curriculum side happens on Friday...

Christos Anesti!

The sayings of the angels at the tomb,

“Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not not here, but he has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise.”

Luke 24:5b-7

Christ is risen indeed! Alleluia!

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.”

1 Peter 1:3-5

Fishing for books

I think Les Misérables has become my favourite book. It has long been George Orwell's 1984, but I found Les Mis to have a much more gripping story line (very much propelled by the intrigue as to how Jean will escape each situation), and of course a much more pleasant ending, although Les Mis's was definitely bittersweet. I do have to say though, I feel guilty now that I've found out how long the unabridged version is, it's hard not to feel a little like a cheat...

My reintroduction to fiction has been rather enjoyable, much fuelled by good recommendation. I think my next target is something by H.G. Wells, possibly The Time Machine or The Invisible Man, but if anyone wishes to suggest something else, I would gladly be diverted. Just remember that I'm an engineer-of-sorts, reading isn't a strong point!

Orange and Turing...

Orange's Pay as you Go automated credit line has for a while employed a script to make it sound like you are talking to a real person. Obviously not completely convincing, or for that matter convincing at all as real operator generally don't ask you to key in the values on the keypad, but it was quite a nice touch, if a little creepy. But it's creepiness has increased - they have now incorporated voice recognition, so that you speak to the recording. Bizarre. Considering I've been known to say "Thank you" to ATMs, this is messing with my mind...

The Good Friday Agreement

I didn't realise until I passed the Belfast Telegraph offices today, but it's 10 years since the Good Friday Agreement (well, not really, but this is the problem with moveable feasts...). This topic still produces a little bit of internal conflict within me, the basis of which is whether we can ever satisfy ourselves that the ends justify the means.

The issue is that the Good Friday Agreement did mean agreeing to power-share with people who for most of their lives as terrorist, often in the most reprehensible way. Many were thugs who used the excuse of political conflict to indulge their blood-thirst and further their own means. The result of the Good Friday Agreement was that some of these men were given respectability and a major role in the governance of the province. There is a strong sense, I feel, that justice has not be done in Northern Ireland, and people who have committed some heinous crimes will have got away with it (in this life at least).

But the results of this are hard to argue with. With the exception of a few isolated incidents such as the Omagh bombings and the riots that occasionally flair up in parts of Belfast, Northern Ireland has experienced a decade of peace. And the consequences is increased prosperity for the province. You don't have to talk to me for very long to figure out my opinion of the beauty of my homeland, yet for many years our tourism industry was stifled because many people were afraid to visit. Peace removes this fear, and tourists have flooded in and prosperity has increased. This prosperity has been quite noticeable on my brief tour around Belfast this morning - I don't think I've seen so much building work going on in the city, and while I was away a new high-end shopping mall was opened in the centre of town. Belfast and the rest of Northern Ireland has benefited greatly from the aftermath of the Good Friday Agreement, and there is much to give praise for.

I think I am always going to feel somewhat uncomfortable about this issue, but pragmatically, I wouldn't want to do anything that moves us backwards from where we are now. I suspect that if the peace process can be continued without flare up until a new generation of politicians take the reigns of the province, ones that haven't been tainted by the nastiness of the troubles, then it will be much easier to put the past behind us and move on with the tentative hope that the "Ireland problem" may be nearing to solution. But for now, I think many will feel the tension that comes from the bad associations that our present leaders bring to mind.

I should add a disclaimer to my thoughts. I have what could be described as a true Norn Irish heart, but it should be noted that I am now an exile in my 6th year, and so my opinions should not be taken as those of one in touch with the feeling of people of Northern Ireland. I'm sure that I could be described as being out of touch or, even worse, having a "touch of the English" around my opinions! So be warned...

Oh, it's a hill! I mustn't be in Oxford then...

Here's a post that is actually coming from Belfast! I arrived safely home just before 10pm last night.

Travel was fairly smooth this time. Despite leaving Oxford at rush hour on the eve of a bank holiday weekend, and having to share a rather packed train to Birmingham International with a rather large number of squaddies slowly getting more drunk as the train progressed, I managed to go one step better than last time by making it to the airport in good time. My waiting time at the airport was pleasant, due to a fair amount of time to grab a pint and start my book - I've started reading an abridged version of Les Misèrables, which so far has been surprisingly readable and gripping and certainly whiled away the transit time. When getting off the plane, I spied an old classmate from Belfast High who I hadn't seen in years. It was very nice to catch up, and also got me a lift from the airport to my house which saved me from negotiating the Belfast bus network in the late evening.

So I'm back until Monday, enjoying being reintroduced to home. The weather has kept things interesting - we've had true "if you don't like it, wait a minute" stuff today! Shall be meeting up with a friend tomorrow to be introduced to the changes to the city since I was last around, should be fun. Unfortunately, my aim to not have any work to get on with hasn't come to be - a few lesson plans, long term plans and dissertation ideas need to be sorted out, but I hope that won't be too bad...

Going home? That's tomorrow?

I've just printed out my boarding pass for tomorrow. I head back on a latish flight from Birmingham tomorrow evening, and to be honest, it's not really shown up on my radar. It's quite odd.

I have to ask, am I the only person this happens to? This seems to be rather a regular occurrence me, that I have trouble looking beyond what I'm doing now and don't really get excited about something that is coming up. It might be just a consequence of being busy.

Anyway, just a 6th form lesson tomorrow, then a bit of a rush to get back, changed and packed before catching my train to Birmingham and should be back home by tomorrow evening. I'm not sure if I'm going to succeed in my aim to not bring any work home with me though... :(

Maybe I should just start a subscription to the Guardian...

Not quite expected...

According to The Political Compass, I am apparently -4.62 on the Economic Left/Right scale (read: mad raving lefty) and -0.46 on Social Libertarian/Authoritarian scale (read: confused).

I'm not sure how this happened. I have two options I suppose - I can accept that I may not be as conservative as I thought, or I can bury my head in the sand. I think I'm going to consult with some ostriches...

In case anyone is concerned...

Thanks for the various people who have contacted me over the last few days, I really appreciate it. I hope I haven't overly concerned anyone - I'm bearing up, it's just that I get moments where I feel on a real low, and for some reason I find that I'm particularly vulnerable over the weekend, possibly because I get the time for an unhealthy amount of introspection. Anyway, I'm feeling I should probably ban myself from this on Sunday afternoons for the obvious reasons.

Anyway, thanks again for messages, they've been of great encouragement and I do value your prayers!

We rest in thee

One good thing about my work this evening is that I had an excuse to listen to the music of the lyrics that I was cyphering. Not that I need much excuse...

The Finlandia Hymn takes its tune from a section of Finlandia (surprisingly enough...) by Jean Sibelius, and will be a familiar tune for some, as it is used for a number of other songs and hymns. Notably from a personal perspective, it lends its tune to my favourite hymn, for which I rarely need much provocation to quote it...

"We rest in thee, our shield and our defender,
We go not forth alone against the foe,
Strong in thy strength, safe in thy keeping tender,
We rest in thee, and in thy name we go.

Yes in thy name, O captain of salvation,
Yes in thy name, all other names above.
Jesus, our righteousness, our sure foundation,
Our prince of glory and our king of love.

We go in faith, our own great weakness feeling,
And needing more each day thy grace to know,
Yet from our hearts, a song of triumph pealing,
"We rest in thee, and in thy name we go!"

We rest in thee, our shield and our defender,
Thine is the battle, thine shall be the praise!
When passing through the gates of pearly splendor,
Victors, we'll rest with thee through endless days."

The price of a good idea

I've just spent a considerable portion of this evening cyphering Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau, La Marseillaise, Nessun Dorma, the Finlandia Hymn and Ein Feste Burg ist unser Gott for the purpose of having a "fun" cryptography investigation with my year 8's.

Here's hoping that after all that it actually works...

I'm sure it wasn't deliberate, but it's still rubbing it in...

Conversation while coming home from Ledbury:

Driver: So, that would be the end of term for you then?
Me: No, I've another three weeks...
Driver: Three weeks!?! That's a bit rubbish!

True. I remember when Ledbury was the end of term. Sigh... Never mind, I think I'm prepared for tomorrow now, then it's a four day week. Back home to Belfast on Thursday, so that's something to look forward to.

Uncertain walks but certain futures

I'm back from a brief trip to Ledbury, with some of my work needing doing this weekend done, although by no means all of it. Sigh, but I should be able to sort it out later on. I'm afraid that I was in a bit of a poor mood over the weekend, and that it may have shown. Apologies for anyone who was in contact with me and felt me being pretty distant. It's fair to say I'm not entirely coping at the moment, and there are times that I don't cover it very well.

Anyway, as it was the topic of the talks at the weekend, being the resurrection, were useful for me. This year has been and continues to be very tough, and although I tend to get into a bit of a poor emotional and mental state, I need to be in mind of what happened on the first Easter and what that means. In particular the fact that my hope is alive because of the resurrection - Christ is the firstfruits of a new life and I can look forward to that with certainty. There is a time coming when things will be renewed and returned to how they should be. When things are bad, I need to remember that it won't be eternal, trust in God, look to the great future He has prepared and cling to the promise that comes by His raising His Son from the dead.

And in the meantime, I shall continue to serve Him and His people on this earth as I wait patiently. Although sometimes my service is lacking, and my patience is often running to the end of its measure.

Soli Deo Gloria. Amen.

A piece of π

I know I'm a little late into it, but Happy Pi Day everyone!

Pottering with numbers...

I've just had about an hours worth of happy mathematising (probably not a word. Yet...), playing around with some centre of mass stuff after dealing with a few sixth formers' questions in after school study group. I've not done that much, really just proving the standard formula for the centre of mass for a circular arc and uniform sector, as well as finally beating into submission one of the tougher questions in the exercises. But that's not the point. It's nice to mess around with numbers every now and again and realise that I still enjoy it somewhat...

I also made it to a twilight seminar in the Department of Education held by John Mason, which was really good - demonstrating a tool called "structured variable grids", which seem to be a useful aid in promoting pattern spotting, and are something I want to have a look at to see if I can make some use of it in my lessons. Very enjoyable session in its own right anyway, lots of fun trying to figure the patterns out and predict what the next term would be. Anyone interested in seeing what they are about, I've been told copies of the grids can be found at John's website here, although I've yet to check that out myself.

Has left me feeling reasonably productive and motivated by the end of the day. Even though I still have a rather significant amount of work awaiting me tomorrow...

Bean

For any mac users out there, I thought I'd highlight the existence of Bean, a little word processing application. I have to admit that I'm struggling to put my finger on what it is I really like about it, but I can say it's a quick alternative to OpenOffice.org and will do most of the things you need it to do.

If I were to pick some nice features, there is a nice toolbar for paragraph formatting with sliders which allow the text body to update while you use them, and also there's a pretty funky live word count that I find useful from an obsessive "how many words have I to go" sort of perspective...

(The logo is also a cup of coffee. Is it possible that's enough to affect me?)

What to do, what to do...

BBC iPlayer has had a rather revolutionary impact in how I've spent my downtime in the last half a year or so (and it is possibly fair to say it has had an effect on how I procrastinate as well...), but it does lead to nights like this when it doesn't seem to be working. What am I going to do now? Work I suppose. Hmmm, maybe not...

Better news on other fronts though - put my jacket on earlier and found a £5 note in the pocket. Result!

Getting the scale right

Following on with part of what I said in the previous post, I had a glance at this earlier today. The example given is unfortunately so common to how many Christians try to explain grace. The problem is to an extent that so often we try and make nice illustrations of topics, which unfortunately often fall far short of hitting with the real impact of what we are trying to describe (something that I am sure I fall victim to, I have a habit of trying to find analogies for everything). In this case, grace is in danger of being interpreted as an unexpected pleasantry.

Sometimes, it's worth considering why we feel the need to find illustrations and aids to understanding. Sometimes it's because we struggle to see the "mechanics" of how something works, and so an illustration can be useful to understand the concept. But with grace, our problem isn't so much understanding the concept - most people can get the idea of a free gift - but actually grasping the scale of the gift. If this is case, illustrations like offering people free jelly beans doesn't really help people to appreciate the full force of the message of scripture. In these instances, it is often better to forego the attempt at illustrating and instead allow exposition to do the work:

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous man–though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die– but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:6-8

This is the magnitude of God's love for us. We were his enemies, living in open rebellion against him, yet his response is to send his Son to die in our place. This is the idea and the magnitude of God's grace, and it's this thought that we must seek to meditate in the inevitable and (if you are like me) the all too common moments when we slip into "jelly bean" type thinking.

Sunday evening ramblings

I am starting to get what has been described by another PGCE student as the "Sunday night fear". I think of all the things in this year, this has been the hardest - very rarely do things seem to stop for a while or even slow down. This is most noticeable over the weekends, you get a brief "Friday feeling", this slowly descends on Saturday as you realise how much planning you have to do and leaves you on Sunday evening feeling completely unprepared to face the week. Gah...

I feel that I'm getting a little too negative at times, and I'm finding it hard to turn the tide at some points, but it's worth reflecting on good things as well. This morning at church we continued our series in Romans, looking this morning at the second half of Romans 7. As we've been going through this series, it becomes easier to see why Luther found his study in this book to be so revolutionary to his thinking. Grace is truly amazing. To read such a passage that chimes so strongly with our own experience, pointing to the evidence in our own lives the powerlessness of the law to deal with our sinfulness has again brought me back to realising how great a gift the cross and resurrection is. What a great thing to remember when feeling on a low ebbe - we are without power to help ourselves, but Christ has rescued us and brought us to eternal life. Good news indeed. I may be experiencing "the fear", but it's good to remember that all my needs are met in Christ, and I pray that will spur me on anew to enter the coming week keen to bring glory to the One who has brought me life.

"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Romans 7:24-25a

Amen.

Approaching transition...

Something is slowly beginning to dawn on me. As I've mentioned, I now have a job for next year, and in fact, I'll be starting that in July coming. This will involve me moving to Bristol on what could well be a long term basis. There are two consequences of this:

1. In July, I will actually leave Oxford. Not forever, I'm sure I'll be visiting, and probably quite regularly. But I will be leaving with little intention of returning to live. This will be the first time in six years. Even my year to Malaysia was embarked upon with the intention of returning after a year.
2. This will probably signal the end to my claim that I still live in Belfast, something that I've been hanging onto despite much evidence for some time now. My home will still be there, but I think once I've got a permanent job somewhere over water my claim to primary residence there begins to hold increasingly less water...

These two facts are surprisingly scary. Particularly and unexpectedly the first one, it's quite odd how big a part of my life Oxford has taken up over the last few years.

Anyway, no time for despair just yet. Before the big move I still have the predictable mountain of paperwork to complete, a house to sort out for the coming year and I believe I still have a bit to go to secure Qualified Teacher Status. Sigh...

And much to my actual surprise...

It appears I am indeed employable. From June, assuming that I achieve Qualified Teacher Status and my CRB disclosure comes back clean, I shall be working for St Mary Redcliffe and Temple School in Bristol. I am feeling rather chuffed about this, the school left quite a bit impression on me when I visited yesterday. Next job then, I have to find accommodation in Bristol. But for the time being, that can wait as I revel in the fact that I don't have to fill in any more application forms this year! :)

Oh dear...

Quote from the staff room today:

"You seem to be upbeat! What's wrong?"

Hmmm, not a great reflection on how I've been the last few months... I am feeling a little more positive now, hopefully that will last for a while. The break seems to have been useful, and its been nice to get onto a shortlist for a job. Still a tough few month ahead, but end is in sight...

The power of favourable associations

Continuing recent posts regarding job applications, people who have attended summer camps with me may appreciate the temptation that has been laid in front of me by the fact that Queen's College, Taunton, is advertising for a mathematics teacher for September 2008. Hmmm...